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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Paul Harvey Dead At 90

Legendary radio broadcaster Paul Harvey died of undisclosed causes in Arizona on Saturday. What do you think?
  • "My life won't be the same without him. Hell, it was Paul Harvey who turned me on to the potato."

    Aaron Carpenter Systems Analyst
  • “Are the doctors positive this isn’t just an exceptionally long pause in his delivery?”

    Jane Martinson Unemployed
  • "And that little boy, who grew up, did some things, and then died when he was 90 was...Paul Harvey."

    Adam Bateman Drywaller

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