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Paul McCartney: Yoko Ono Didn't Break Up Beatles

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The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Paul McCartney: Yoko Ono Didn't Break Up Beatles

In an interview with David Frost, Paul McCartney rejected the long-lived allegations that John Lennon’s wife, Yoko Ono, caused the Beatles’ breakup in 1970, stating that the band was already in the process of splitting up at the time. What do you think?

  • “I’m not going to watch. I’ll wait for the Frost/McCartney movie instead.”

    Wanda Klein Court Clerk
  • “Yoko may not have actually ‘broken up’ the Beatles, but let’s be fair here: All that screaming while flailing about onstage in a bag certainly couldn’t have helped the situation much either.”

    Greg Coady Door Installer
  • “I bet whoever Ringo was banging did it.”

    Alvin Randall Cruise Ship Captain

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