Paula Deen Admits To Saying N-Word, Racist Jokes

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Vol 49 Issue 25

The Onion Will Be Euthanizing People For Free This Sunday

Summer is in full effect! And as the nation gears up for three months of beach excursions, poolside barbecues, and lazy afternoons, The Onion would like to remind its readers that this Sunday we are offering free euthanizations to everyone and anyo...

The Onion’s Tips For Securing The U.S.–Mexico Border

Destroy America’s financial, manufacturing, and healthcare sectors, limiting the amount of reasons to ever come in Place one traffic cone right in front of the existing border fence Impeach President Barack Obama On the Mexico side of the border, h...

All-Female Jury To Try George Zimmerman

A jury consisting of six women will determine whether George Zimmerman was acting lawfully under Florida’s Stand Your Ground law when he shot and killed unarmed 17-year-old Trayvon Martin in his gated community in February 2012.
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Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Paula Deen Admits To Saying N-Word, Racist Jokes

According to a video reportedly obtained by the National Enquirer, Food Network star Paula Deen confessed that she had used the N-word, told racist jokes, and wanted to hire black waiters to play the part of slaves in a wedding she was planning. What do you think?

  • “But she seems so normal.”

    Celeste DeCristofaro
    Latrine Cleaner
  • “You can’t really blame her. The Food Network perpetuates that kind of environment.”

    Lonnie Aguilar
    Music Librarian
  • “Thank God I’m not famous enough where my racism is a problem.”

    Lawrence Obermeyer
    Overlay Plastician
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