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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Paula Deen Admits To Saying N-Word, Racist Jokes

According to a video reportedly obtained by the National Enquirer, Food Network star Paula Deen confessed that she had used the N-word, told racist jokes, and wanted to hire black waiters to play the part of slaves in a wedding she was planning. What do you think?

  • “But she seems so normal.”

    Celeste DeCristofaro Latrine Cleaner
  • “You can’t really blame her. The Food Network perpetuates that kind of environment.”

    Lonnie Aguilar Music Librarian
  • “Thank God I’m not famous enough where my racism is a problem.”

    Lawrence Obermeyer Overlay Plastician

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