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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Paula Deen Has Diabetes

Chef Paula Deen announced this week that she has been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. What do you think?

  • "Whew. Good thing I’ve been substituting part skim ricotta in her lasagna sandwich recipe."

    Kevin Rich Systems Analyst
  • "She’ll have plenty of help. Paul Prudhomme can show her how to cook from a scooter."

    Frieda Pierce Mark-Up Designer
  • "I always knew there was something wrong with that woman, though diabetes was not my first guess."

    Tad Brumley Floor Winder
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