adBlockCheck

Recent News

Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
End Of Section
  • More News

Paula Deen Has Diabetes

Chef Paula Deen announced this week that she has been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. What do you think?

  • "Whew. Good thing I’ve been substituting part skim ricotta in her lasagna sandwich recipe."

    Kevin Rich Systems Analyst
  • "She’ll have plenty of help. Paul Prudhomme can show her how to cook from a scooter."

    Frieda Pierce Mark-Up Designer
  • "I always knew there was something wrong with that woman, though diabetes was not my first guess."

    Tad Brumley Floor Winder

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close