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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Paula Deen Loses Ham Endorsement Deal

After it was revealed last week that Paula Deen used racial slurs and made a number of racist jokes, the prominent pork company Smithfield Farms, which boasted a line of Paula Deen–branded hams, has severed its ties with the celebrity chef. What do you think?

  • “What do they need her for anyway? Ham sells itself.”

    Sharon Weisser Art Appraiser
  • “Shoot, I had a great idea for an ad where someone stuffs a Smithfield ham in Paula Deen’s mouth whenever she starts to talk about black people.”

    Shawn Pressman Liquor Inspector
  • “Losing a ham endorsement deal after charges of racism—we’ve all been there.”

    Conrad Tully Typewriter Servicer
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