adBlockCheck

Recent News

Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.

How To Combat Harassment Online

Online harassment is an increasingly contentious issue, with social media sites like Twitter and Reddit pressured to crack down on users’ abusive behavior. Here are The Onion’s tips for combating harassment online:
End Of Section
  • More News

Pawlenty Drops Out

Following a poor showing in the Iowa straw poll, former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty announced Sunday he was no longer seeking to become the Republican nominee for president. What do you think?

  • “I don’t see how this is going to help his campaign at all.”

    Damon Chater Hand Embroiderer
  • "When Ron Paul beats you with hand-painted plywood signs left over from 2007, it's definitely time to pack it up."

    Julie Steltmann Trust-Vault Clerk
  • "If he can't handle the results of some silly straw poll, how would he have handled bombing Iran? I need someone who can handle a straw poll and bomb Iran."

    Jay Diblasi Goods Layer

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close