adBlockCheck

Recent News

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
End Of Section
  • More News

Pawlenty Drops Out

Following a poor showing in the Iowa straw poll, former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty announced Sunday he was no longer seeking to become the Republican nominee for president. What do you think?

  • “I don’t see how this is going to help his campaign at all.”

    Damon Chater Hand Embroiderer
  • "When Ron Paul beats you with hand-painted plywood signs left over from 2007, it's definitely time to pack it up."

    Julie Steltmann Trust-Vault Clerk
  • "If he can't handle the results of some silly straw poll, how would he have handled bombing Iran? I need someone who can handle a straw poll and bomb Iran."

    Jay Diblasi Goods Layer

More from this section

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close