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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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PayPal Now Accepted At 15 Retailers

Online payment service PayPal has struck a deal with 15 brick-and-mortar retailers, including JCPenney and Barnes and Noble, that will enable users to pay for merchandise with their phones. What do you think?

  • “Finally, the ease of paying for something online combined with the inconvenience of having to lug it around.”

    Matthew Dick Bath Mix Operator
  • “Sweet. Now if I just sell 20 more lots of hotel soap on eBay I can waltz into Penney’s and finally buy that pack of socks I’ve had my eye on.”

    Sadie Cowper Rope-Machine Setter
  • “I guess since I can't afford a phone that means I don't have to pay at all! Yay!"

    Bill Francks Office-Chair Assembler

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