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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Pediatricians: Screen All Children For Depression, HIV

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends in its new guidelines that all children regardless of risk level be regularly tested for high cholesterol, depression, and HIV, screenings that could detect issues early enough to eliminate the need for medication later in life. What do you think?

  • “Sure, as long as I can still regularly assure my kids that life is meaningless.”

    Harvey Carson Brick Molder
  • “We can’t keep coddling our children with all this medical attention.”

    Gail Whethers Tongues Translator
  • “They should probably also see a podiatrist. It just seems to fit with all that other stuff, you know?”

    Marco Zimmer Unemployed

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