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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Pennies, Nickels To Change?

Between costly raw materials and manufacturing expenses, pennies and nickels cost more than twice their face value. The Obama administration has asked Congress for permission to change the metal composition for those coins. What do you think?

  • "You have to wonder what Obama is thinking invoking the ire of numismatist alloy originalists in an election year."

    Domenic Archer Systems Analyst
  • "Why not take this as an excuse to just scrap them both and replace them with one convenient six-cent coin?"

    Becky Rockford Purchase Agent
  • "Dammit. So you’re telling me that when I hauled all those pennies down to the electric company to pay my bill, they got the better end of the deal?"

    Sasha Brady Radon Remediation Consultant
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