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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Pentacle Allowed On Veterans' Tombstones

The Department of Veteran Affairs will allow Wiccan symbols to appear on gravestones of veterans who practiced the faith. What do you think?
  • "As long as they don't allow Stevie Nicks to sing at the funeral, I'm fine with it."

    Betty Lawton Tanner
  • "Dear God, who's next–Mormons?"

    Domingo Schultz Carpenter
  • "Back up just a second: The Wiccans have guns?"

    Werner Hansen Systems Analyst

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