Pentagon Allows Women To Serve On Front Lines

In This Section

Vol 49 Issue 04

North Korea To Test New Nuclear Weapon

In response to recently imposed U.N. sanctions, North Korea vowed to conduct its third test of a nuclear weapon, warning of confrontation with its proclaimed “arch-enemy” the United States.

Study Exposes Risks Of Conducting Research While Driving

NASA continues its search for a planet capable of supporting NASA, Prince Harry announces that he killed some Taliban-looking people during his tour of duty, and a copy of 'The Scarlet Letter'' can't believe the notes a high schooler is writing in its mar...
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Fantasy Sports

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Pentagon Allows Women To Serve On Front Lines

Defense Secretary Leon Panetta announced today the removal of a 1994 Pentagon rule that banned women from officially serving on the front lines. What do you think?

  • “Oh, man. I can’t wait to see the look on an insurgent’s face when a soldier removes their helmet to reveal long, flowing blonde hair.”

    Thomas Dockstader
    Unemployed
  • “In fairness, women were kinda shit back in 1994.”

    Rocky LaPoint
    Hand Loom Weaver
  • “Would it have killed them to let us enjoy the whole gay thing a little longer?”

    Xavier Pennington
    Sole Blacker
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More