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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.
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Pentagon: Gay Equals Crazy

Recently released documents reveal that the Pentagon considers homosexuality to be a mental disorder, decades after mainstream psychology dismissed that idea. What do you think?
  • "Even though I’m gay, I’m not going to criticize this claim until I at least hear what kind of drugs I might now be able to get if I enlist."

    Dan Klein Beverage Sales
  • "Wow, I didn't realize that when the plane hit the Pentagon it had blasted it back in time 50 years."

    Eric March Intern
  • "And here I’d always thought homosexuality was the devil’s work."

    Cassie Corcoran Cake Decorator
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