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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Pentagon: Gay Equals Crazy

Recently released documents reveal that the Pentagon considers homosexuality to be a mental disorder, decades after mainstream psychology dismissed that idea. What do you think?
  • "Even though I’m gay, I’m not going to criticize this claim until I at least hear what kind of drugs I might now be able to get if I enlist."

    Dan Klein Beverage Sales
  • "Wow, I didn't realize that when the plane hit the Pentagon it had blasted it back in time 50 years."

    Eric March Intern
  • "And here I’d always thought homosexuality was the devil’s work."

    Cassie Corcoran Cake Decorator

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