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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Pentagon Proposes Scaling Back Army To Pre-WWII Levels

Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel proposed a new Pentagon budget that would shrink the U.S. Army to its smallest size in 74 years and retire an entire fleet of A-10 “Warthog” jets, cuts he said would allow for a more versatile, technologically advanced force. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, we did things just right in the run-up to World War II.”

    Jackson Cummings Software Installer
  • “Our enemies who wanted America to have a more versatile, technologically advanced fighting force have won!”

    Brenda Sockaloe Furniture Arranger
  • “I give it 10 months before Hagel comes crawling back to the Flying Warthogs.”

    Harry McKee Sound Mixer
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