People With Children Live Longer

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‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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People With Children Live Longer

According to a study by Danish researchers, men and women who do not have children are at increased risk of dying early when compared to those who have kids. What do you think?

  • “Do they have to be my own children or will any old kid I find work?”

    Conor Keely
    Crane Operator
  • “I was just wondering why my parents were still alive.”

    Janette Leganger
    Flavoring Maker
  • “So how many more cigarettes can I smoke every year per kid?”

    Arnie Hammerstrom
    Copperplate Engraver
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