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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Pepsi Introduces High-Fiber, 'Fat-Blocking' Soda

Aiming to attract young and health-conscious consumers, PepsiCo introduced “Pepsi Special” in Japan yesterday, a high-fiber drink that contains the water-absorbing substance dextrin, which the company claims will help reduce body fat. What do you think?

  • “About time. I’m sick of drinking Pepsi Decent.”

    Neils Brostoff Home Health Aide
  • “I’m sure this will be a huge hit—all kids ever seem to talk about today is their high-fiber diets.”

    Albert Flack Resin Worker
  • “I bet this is one of those scams where they make it seem healthy by making the serving size really small, like 24 ounces.”

    Phyllis Monroe Turnstile Attendant
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