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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Period Suppression Pill OK'd

The FDA approved Lybrel, a birth control pill that stops the monthly menstrual cycle altogether. What do you think?
  • "This is unfair—when will they come up with a pill that keeps my genitals from bleeding."

    Chris Jawoerk Marketing Director
  • "This could potentially ruin daytime television's entire sponsorship model."

    Alex Lau Sous Chef
  • "I've already figured out a way to stop the menstrual cycle altogether: 14 consecutive pregnancies."

    Baly Sniderman Admissions Clerk
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