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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Perry Became Millionaire In Politics

Since entering public office, Texas governor Rick Perry has profited from multiple land deals that, according to critics, were the result of his political connections. What do you think?

  • “That shows the exact kind of corrupt savvy a president will need to get this country back on track.”

    Dorian Flood Unemployed
  • “I'm not buying it. Everybody knows Perry made his millions through a string of prudent livestock investments in the ’80s.”

    Steve Brown Gambreler
  • “Yeah, exactly. Being a Texas governor is awesome.”

    Bernard Langford Systems Analyst

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