Personal Bankruptcy Laws

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45-Minute Phone Call To Credit Card Company Goes Great

FORT WAYNE, IN—Grinning with contentment as he reminisced about the call he placed earlier in the day, 31-year-old accountant Greg Schulhoff told reporters Thursday that his 45-minute phone call with MasterCard regarding late payment fees went “really great.”

Romantic Gesture Too Expensive To Waste On Current Girlfriend

HARRISBURG, PA—Claiming that the price of the incredible idea far exceeded his emotional investment in his relationship, local man Alex Ramsey said Wednesday that an extravagant romantic gesture he has in mind is too expensive to waste on his current girlfriend.

NASA Deploys Congressional Rover To Search For Funding

WASHINGTON—Calling the program “the most crucial in the agency’s history,” researchers at NASA announced Wednesday they have successfully deployed a Special Exploratory Rover to Congress as part of an open-ended mission to seek out any possible trace of funding on Capitol Hill.

Shoddy Chinese-Made Stock Market Collapses

SHANGHAI—Proving to be just as flimsy and precarious as many observers had previously warned, the Chinese-made Shanghai Composite index completely collapsed Monday, sources confirmed.

Tips For Cheaper Airfare

Whether the busy travel season, fuel prices, or airline collusion is to blame, airfare is currently very pricey, making traveling more difficult. The Onion walks you through some ways to reduce the cost of flying

Budget Wedding Tips

With Americans still feeling the effects of the recession, many engaged couples are looking for ways to save money on their wedding by holding a smaller ceremony, hunting for deals, and more.

Commonly Overlooked Tax Credits

As Americans rush to fill out their tax forms before the April 15 deadline, many may not realize that they are eligible for multiple tax credits that would earn money back from the government.

Man Completes Life $130,000 Over Budget

SAN FRANCISCO—Having drastically underestimated the expenses required for such an elaborate production, recently deceased local man Norman Dennison is said to have completed his 84-year life Tuesday approximately $130,000 over budget.

Newlywed Couple Looks So Deeply In Debt

CHICAGO—Saying that you could tell by the way they stared into each other’s eyes, friends and family of newlywed couple Patrick and Heather Vaughn told reporters Friday that the bride and groom look so deeply in debt.

How Powerball Works

With no winner from the previous drawing, the jackpot for Wednesday’s Powerball lottery is expected to surpass $450 million, as gamblers around the nation buy more tickets in hopes of drawing the lucky numbers.

The Pros And Cons Of Free Community College

As part of an effort to make higher education accessible to all Americans, President Obama has proposed offering two free years of community college to qualified students, a plan critics say is too expensive and misses the mark on education reform.

Allowance To Teach Child Importance Of Parental Dependence

MUNCIE, IN—Saying that they wanted to instill lifelong financial habits in their young son, the parents of 9-year-old Jeremy Lambert explained to reporters Monday that they give him a weekly $10 allowance to teach him the importance of parental depe...

Online Shopping vs. In-Store Shopping

While brick-and-mortar stores like Walmart and Target are advertising door-buster deals to get consumers in their aisles on Black Friday, many Americans are opting to take advantage of the ease and product variety of online shopping.

Scientists Receive $10 Million Grant To Melt Stuff

COLLEGE PARK, MD—Saying the money would help further researchers’ understanding of the awesome scientific phenomenon, representatives for the American Institute of Physics announced Tuesday that they had received a $10 million grant to melt st...

The Cost Of Raising A Child

According to a new report by the USDA, the cost of raising a child until age 18 now exceeds $245,000, after which many parents will also have to foot the bill for college.

How Public Schools Spend Taxpayer Money

Public school districts in the United States receive billions of taxpayer dollars in state and federal funding every year to pay for teacher salaries, school bus transportation, building maintenance, counseling services, and more.

Bank Of America Introduces New $50 Underdraft Fee

CHARLOTTE, NC—Saying the penalty will cover the costs incurred by the financial institution whenever a customer makes a withdrawal that results in a positive account balance, Bank of America introduced a new $50 underdraft fee Tuesday on all checkin...

How To Protect Your Personal Information Online

Following the recent data breach at retail giant Target, which exposed credit card numbers and personal information of as many as 110 million people, many Americans have grown concerned about their safety and privacy online.

Report: Gap Wider Than Ever Between Ultra-Rich And Reality

PHILADELPHIA—A report released Wednesday by economists at the University of Pennsylvania confirmed that the already massive gap between the world’s ultra-rich and reality is now at historic levels and only continues growing wider each year.

'That Seems About Right,' Says Soon-To-Be-Audited Man

CAMDEN, MN—While filling out a 1040 form and other documents Tuesday in preparation for filing his 2012 federal tax returns, local man Robert Moran, a blog writer who will shortly be audited by the Internal Revenue Service, announced that his calcul...

New Visa Talking Credit Card Urges Buyers To Go For It

SAN FRANCISCO—Financial services giant Visa held a press event Tuesday to introduce "Visa Voice," a new line of talking credit cards that urges shoppers to just go ahead and buy it if that's what they really want. "Whenever ...

Nicolas Cage Broke

Owing $6.3 million in back taxes and facing financial ruin, Nicolas Cage, star of such hit films as Ghost Rider,...
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Personal Bankruptcy Laws

A new bankruptcy law went into effect last week, making it harder for consumers to clear their debts with Chapter 7 bankruptcy. What do you think?
  • "If they didn't want to go bankrupt, people should have thought about that before deciding to pursue their dreams."

    Kelley Wyler
    Bank Teller
  • "I'm sure that whatever happens, that man with question marks on his suit will be able to help."

    Don Rensalear
    Systems Analyst
  • "And just in time for the new restrictions to apply to the hurricane victims, too! Who said there's no such thing as miracles?"

    Claude Connelloy
    Dairy Farmer

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