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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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PETA Attacks Chris Christie For Killing Spider

After New Jersey governor Chris Christie posted a video online of him squishing a spider with his hand while meeting with a group of children, the president of PETA issued a response chiding Christie for not thinking about the spider’s worth as a living being. What do you think?

  • “How quickly PETA forgets the topless poster that Christie posed in for them in ’07.”

    Anne Vergallo Systems Analyst
  • “Too bad there wasn’t a political cartoonist on hand to write something on the spider, like ‘deficit’ or something.”

    Oliver Kassovitz Bookbinder
  • “Well, there go his chances in 2016.”

    Giles Robin Employment Counselor

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