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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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Peter O'Toole Retires

After a career of six decades, 79-year-old Irish actor Peter O’Toole, famous for his starring roles in Lawrence Of Arabia and Goodbye, Mr. Chips, as well as a life of hard drinking and carousing, has announced his retirement. What do youthink?

  • “I knew his drinking would catch up to him in six decades’ time.”

    Erica Kaell Prep School Administrator
  • “I guess he realized he needed to get serious about bridge to have any hope of ever beating Omar Sharif.”

    Steve Chapman Hedge Fund Analyst
  • “So you’re saying there’s a position open to become Peter O’Toole? No need to keep hinting. I’ll take the job."

    Andre Horesh Fashion Consultant

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