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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Petraeus Resigns Over Affair

CIA director and retired four-star Army general David Petraeus resigned after the FBI discovered his extramarital affair with Paula Broadwell, the West Point graduate, Army reservist, and Ph.D. candidate who co-wrote his biography. What do you think?

  • “Listen, you don’t get to be a four-star general without smooching a few West Point grads.”

    Serena Ritter Lapidary
  • “As a married man, I can’t tell you how tempting it is to fall in love with your biographer.”

    Glenn Bradfort Systems Analyst
  • “That book was okay. I liked the military stuff, but got bored all those times it talked about his delicate touch or how his wife takes him for granted and doesn’t deserve his love.”

    Vicente Rivera Reed Maker
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