adBlockCheck

Recent News

‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
End Of Section
  • More News

PG-13 Movies Have More Gun Violence Than R Movies

A study found that the amount of gun violence in PG-13–rated movies has more than tripled since 1985, with recent PG-13 films containing more gun violence than R-rated films. What do you think?

  • “How else are children going to learn to shoot while jumping sideways?”

    Frederick Leitzman Engraver
  • “Well, if you have a better suggestion for how Jack Reacher should defend himself, I’m all ears.”

    Anisa Cantu Boarding Kennel Operator
  • “Don’t tell me what happens. I haven’t seen any of them yet!”

    Aaron Garbarino Unemployed

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close