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Phil Collins Retires

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Phil Collins Retires

In an interview with FHM magazine, Phil Collins announced his retirement from music. What do you think?

  • "All right, but he’d better not be singing in the shower."

    Kip Masterson Systems Analyst
  • "Oh, no. I was still holding out hope that his genius might produce another four seconds of musical magic like those unbelievable four seconds from 'In the Air Tonight' when the drums come in."

    Mary Parks Opaquer
  • "Wait. There's a new FHM out?!?"  

    Arthur McConnell Veneer Clipper

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