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Study: Anxiety Resolved By Thinking About It Real Hard

Potentially offering hope to millions of Americans struggling with psychological and emotional problems, a study published this week in The New England Journal Of Medicine found that test subjects were capable of fully resolving their anxiety by thinking ...

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Archivists Unearth Rare Early Career Paul Newman Salsa

WESTPORT, CT—Shedding light on the formative years of the late actor and philanthropist, researchers cataloging the personal archives of Paul Newman confirmed Friday they had uncovered a long-forgotten salsa from early in his career.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:
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Philip Morris Under Fire

With statistics showing teen smoking greatly on the rise, the federal government is taking aim at tobacco companies, proposing legislation limiting them to text-only ads in youth-oriented publications and banning cigarette billboards near public schools. What do you think?
  • "I understand the dangers of teen smoking and all that stuff. That's why I make my kids smoke in the kitchen."

    Duane Leary Systems Analyst
  • "I want to do what's right for my kid, but Timmy would miss his favorite Saturday morning Fox cartoon, FilterKing and the NicoTeens of the Cigaverse."

    Dave Reiderer Librarian
  • "People are too easily influenced by bright, flashy ad campaigns featuring cute characters like Joe Camel. Once, I freebased an entire bottle of Toilet Duck."

    George Espinoza File Clerk
  • "Man, the next thing you know, you'll have to be 18 just to buy the damn things."

    Laurie Goodson School Psychologist
  • "I think they should ban those Pringles ads with the guy dancing."

    Emily Hastings Floral Arranger
  • "No, we don't want teens to smoke. They're so lovable in their huge trousers and grubby shirts and bowl haircuts. No, we wouldn't want them to die horribly of lung cancer."

    Jeff Biederman Plumber

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Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

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