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Red Roof Inn Announces New Suicidal Suite

In an effort to cater to customers who have lost the will to live, economy hotel chain Red Roof Inn officially unveiled Thursday its new Suicidal Suite available at each of their locations across the nation.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.
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Philip Morris Under Fire

With statistics showing teen smoking greatly on the rise, the federal government is taking aim at tobacco companies, proposing legislation limiting them to text-only ads in youth-oriented publications and banning cigarette billboards near public schools. What do you think?
  • "I understand the dangers of teen smoking and all that stuff. That's why I make my kids smoke in the kitchen."

    Duane Leary Systems Analyst
  • "I want to do what's right for my kid, but Timmy would miss his favorite Saturday morning Fox cartoon, FilterKing and the NicoTeens of the Cigaverse."

    Dave Reiderer Librarian
  • "People are too easily influenced by bright, flashy ad campaigns featuring cute characters like Joe Camel. Once, I freebased an entire bottle of Toilet Duck."

    George Espinoza File Clerk
  • "Man, the next thing you know, you'll have to be 18 just to buy the damn things."

    Laurie Goodson School Psychologist
  • "I think they should ban those Pringles ads with the guy dancing."

    Emily Hastings Floral Arranger
  • "No, we don't want teens to smoke. They're so lovable in their huge trousers and grubby shirts and bowl haircuts. No, we wouldn't want them to die horribly of lung cancer."

    Jeff Biederman Plumber

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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

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