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Phish To Reunite

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Phish To Reunite

Four years after disbanding, the Vermont jam band Phish has announced plans to reunite in March 2009, starting with three performances in Virginia. What do you think?
  • "Oh man, there's no way I'll be able to score mushrooms, gain 20 pounds, and move back in with my parents by March."

    Virginia Walton Systems Analyst
  • "This is like a dream come true! If only all my dreams were this inconsequential."

    Larry Moore Waiter
  • "Wait, they were broken up? Who the hell have I been following around the country for the past few years?"

    John Kihn Closet Organizer

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