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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Phone Hack Whistleblower Found Dead

Sean Hoare, a former News Of The World entertainment journalist who was first to admit publicly that reporters were encouraged to hack celebrities' phones, was found dead in his home at Watford, England. What do you think?

  • "Well, I hope we've all learned a valuable lesson about trying to rid the world of evil."

    Lynn Scott Vault Custodian
  • "That guy was kind of Woodward and Bernstein, Deep Throat and Nixon all in one."

    Ian Evans Systems Analyst
  • "I hope you're not implying that this guy was killed by Rupert Murdoch, because that's the kind of thing that can get you killed by Rupert Murdoch."

    Josh Wright Unemployed

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