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Photos Of Bin Laden's Body To Stay Secret

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Photos Of Bin Laden's Body To Stay Secret

A federal court ruled that the government does not have to release photographs of the body of Osama bin Laden taken after he was shot dead in 2011, claiming the images could incite violence against the U.S. What do you think?

  • “Maybe they could lighten the mood a bit by drawing a big handlebar mustache or some eyeglasses on him in the photo?”

    Annette Francine
    Matchbook Assembler
  • “This is America; my right to salacious entertainment should trump any concerns about national security.”

    Roger Cole
    Ocularist
  • “If the U.S. government ends up covertly assassinating me after a decade-long manhunt, I’d appreciate they not show those photos either, please.”

    Trevor Bucossi
    Systems Analyst

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