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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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Pilot Had Little Experience Landing Boeing 777

According to airline officials, the pilot of the Asiana Airlines flight that crashed at San Francisco International Airport Saturday had limited experience landing a Boeing 777 jetliner, and had only 43 hours of flying time behind the controls of the plane when he attempted to touch down on the runway. What do you think?

  • “Eh, if you’ve been flying for 43 hours, you’ve pretty much seen it all.”

    John DiVincentis Log Peeler
  • “Hasn’t this airline suffered enough without their pilots’ credentials being called into question?”

    Michael Doty Systems Analyst
  • “He tried to land that plane, though. That’s more than most of us can say.”

    Erin Bicks Women’s Activities Advisor
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