Piracy Down Sharply Off African Coast

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DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Piracy Down Sharply Off African Coast

Citing vigilant patrolling by international forces and heightened security by shippers, the U.S. Navy stated that so far this year pirates have carried out only nine successful attacks near the Horn of Africa, as compared with 34 in all of 2011 and 68 in 2010. What do you think?

  • “Sounds like the perfect time to take all my possessions sailing around the Horn of Africa.”

    Shelly Downey
    Occupational Analyst
  • “Well, there goes the last interesting thing about the news.”

    Joe Yamamoto
    Vine Pruner
  • “Oh, man, now I really have no excuse not to attend my cousin’s wedding in Mogadishu.”

    Clay Segal
    Electrical Line Splicer