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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Piracy Down Sharply Off African Coast

Citing vigilant patrolling by international forces and heightened security by shippers, the U.S. Navy stated that so far this year pirates have carried out only nine successful attacks near the Horn of Africa, as compared with 34 in all of 2011 and 68 in 2010. What do you think?

  • “Sounds like the perfect time to take all my possessions sailing around the Horn of Africa.”

    Shelly Downey Occupational Analyst
  • “Well, there goes the last interesting thing about the news.”

    Joe Yamamoto Vine Pruner
  • “Oh, man, now I really have no excuse not to attend my cousin’s wedding in Mogadishu.”

    Clay Segal Electrical Line Splicer
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