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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Plague Fatality In Arizona

An autopsy revealed that an Arizona biologist who was found dead on Nov. 2 had contracted the pneumonic plague after handling a cougar corpse. What do you think?
  • "Exactly what precautions can the rest of us take? Avoiding cougar carcasses? Is that very realistic?"

    Charlie Thornton Pasta Maker
  • "The resurgence of the plague is probably because God is angry with mankind. Either that or because the bacterium, Yersinia pestis, is found in rodents and their fleas and is prevalent in many areas of the world."

    Mary Benning Mattress Salesperson
  • "Did he have a headache and fatigue and stuff? Shit, I'm going to die."

    Haitham Tahir Book Binder
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