adBlockCheck

Recent News

Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
End Of Section
  • More News

Plague Fatality In Arizona

An autopsy revealed that an Arizona biologist who was found dead on Nov. 2 had contracted the pneumonic plague after handling a cougar corpse. What do you think?
  • "Exactly what precautions can the rest of us take? Avoiding cougar carcasses? Is that very realistic?"

    Charlie Thornton Pasta Maker
  • "The resurgence of the plague is probably because God is angry with mankind. Either that or because the bacterium, Yersinia pestis, is found in rodents and their fleas and is prevalent in many areas of the world."

    Mary Benning Mattress Salesperson
  • "Did he have a headache and fatigue and stuff? Shit, I'm going to die."

    Haitham Tahir Book Binder

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close