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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Plans To Nuke Iran

According to an article by Seymour Hersh in this issue of The New Yorker, the U.S. has drawn up plans to preemptively attack Iran to stop their nuclear program, including possibly using tactical nuclear weapons. What do you think?
  • "On the other hand, the New Tehranian exposed the truth about how great a family man President Ahmadinejad really is."

    Sarrith King Groundskeeper
  • "I don't know if a plan to use nuclear weapons to destroy a nuclear program will be approved by the contentious UN Irony Council."

    Phil Anderson Hair Stylist
  • "At least we won't need an exit strategy."

    Lynette Cobb Grocer
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