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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Plans To Nuke Iran

According to an article by Seymour Hersh in this issue of The New Yorker, the U.S. has drawn up plans to preemptively attack Iran to stop their nuclear program, including possibly using tactical nuclear weapons. What do you think?
  • "On the other hand, the New Tehranian exposed the truth about how great a family man President Ahmadinejad really is."

    Sarrith King Groundskeeper
  • "I don't know if a plan to use nuclear weapons to destroy a nuclear program will be approved by the contentious UN Irony Council."

    Phil Anderson Hair Stylist
  • "At least we won't need an exit strategy."

    Lynette Cobb Grocer
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