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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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PlayStation 3 Data Breach May Be Biggest Ever

Sony admitted last week that hackers had compromised its network and may have obtained the names, addresses, usernames, passwords, or credit card information of 77 million PlayStation users. What do you think?

  • "Wait, let me give them my other card. The one I have on there is expired."

    Barry Coleman Systems Analyst
  • "That's okay. With all the PlayStation I was playing, my identity wasn't that great, anyway."

    Laura Walker Research Assistant
  • "I hope the International Criminal Court isn't involved in this. I've done some terrible things during Call Of Duty."

    Daniel Glover Actuator
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