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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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PlayStation 3 Data Breach May Be Biggest Ever

Sony admitted last week that hackers had compromised its network and may have obtained the names, addresses, usernames, passwords, or credit card information of 77 million PlayStation users. What do you think?

  • "Wait, let me give them my other card. The one I have on there is expired."

    Barry Coleman Systems Analyst
  • "That's okay. With all the PlayStation I was playing, my identity wasn't that great, anyway."

    Laura Walker Research Assistant
  • "I hope the International Criminal Court isn't involved in this. I've done some terrible things during Call Of Duty."

    Daniel Glover Actuator
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