PlayStation 3 Data Breach May Be Biggest Ever

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Vol 47 Issue 18

Area Woman Marries Into Health Insurance

SAN FRANCISCO—The motives of local woman Janet Debois, 28, came under scrutiny Sunday following accusations that she had only married Vince Davidson, 31, for his generous health insurance policy.

U.S. Sets Tornado Record

The National Weather Service reported a new record for number of tornadoes in a day, with 312 counted in a 24-hour period last week.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Fantasy Sports

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

PlayStation 3 Data Breach May Be Biggest Ever

Sony admitted last week that hackers had compromised its network and may have obtained the names, addresses, usernames, passwords, or credit card information of 77 million PlayStation users. What do you think?

  • "Wait, let me give them my other card. The one I have on there is expired."

    Barry Coleman
    Systems Analyst
  • "That's okay. With all the PlayStation I was playing, my identity wasn't that great, anyway."

    Laura Walker
    Research Assistant
  • "I hope the International Criminal Court isn't involved in this. I've done some terrible things during Call Of Duty."

    Daniel Glover
    Actuator
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