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Pluto Not A Planet?

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Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Obesity: Myth Vs. Fact

With as many as one in three people in the U.S. qualifying as obese, misconceptions are often formed about what it means to be significantly overweight. The Onion separates obesity myths from facts
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Pluto Not A Planet?

Scientists from around the world are convening this week to decide whether or not Pluto fits the definition of a planet. What do you think?
  • "On the bright side, that's five fewer minutes I have to spend helping my son on his solar-system mobile."

    Dale Kenner Telephone-System Installer
  • "I just hope I'm not around when the news finally hits Pluto in 4,000 light years."

    Brenda Dobbs Unemployed
  • "That's cool. I hear Seyfert II has an opening."

    Dan Praeger Shampooer

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