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Politicians Arrested For Plot To Rig NYC Mayoral Election

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Politicians Arrested For Plot To Rig NYC Mayoral Election

A Democratic state senator and Republican city councilman were arrested today on charges they planned to rig the upcoming mayoral election in New York by bribing the city’s top GOP leaders to allow the Democrat to run as the Republican nominee. What do you think?

  • “For punishment, I think they should elect him mayor of New York.”

    Tate Diehl Unemployed
  • “It’s refreshing to see a politician willing to reach across party lines to get things done.”

    Linda Sebek Feather Trimmer
  • “This just goes to show that you can’t buy political office. Unless of course they hadn’t been caught, in which case they would have done exactly that.”

    Jonathan Mayo Shipping Clerk

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