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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Poll: 86% Of NFL Players Okay With Gay Teammate

ESPN conducted a poll of current NFL players regarding their thoughts on having a gay teammate and found that out of the 51 respondents, 86 percent don’t care about their teammates’ sexual orientation. What do you think?

  • “The NFL is basically Europe in a lot of ways.”

    Don Woodvine Ice Cutter
  • “Wow, it takes strength to stand up and say ‘I don’t care’ like that.”

    Marybeth Glover Field Producer
  • “Man, the brain damage has really gotten to them.”

    Griffin Schofield Organic Farmer
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