adBlockCheck

Recent News

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
End Of Section
  • More News

Poll: 86% Of NFL Players Okay With Gay Teammate

ESPN conducted a poll of current NFL players regarding their thoughts on having a gay teammate and found that out of the 51 respondents, 86 percent don’t care about their teammates’ sexual orientation. What do you think?

  • “The NFL is basically Europe in a lot of ways.”

    Don Woodvine Ice Cutter
  • “Wow, it takes strength to stand up and say ‘I don’t care’ like that.”

    Marybeth Glover Field Producer
  • “Man, the brain damage has really gotten to them.”

    Griffin Schofield Organic Farmer

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close