Poll: Most In U.S. Believe JFK’s Death A Conspiracy

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Vol 49 Issue 47

FCC May Allow Cell Phone Calls On Flights

The Federal Communications Commission is considering lifting the ban on cell phone calls on flights when the plane is above 10,000 feet, though calls would still be disallowed during takeoff and landing.

Parents Finally Cave And Buy 33-Year-Old Son PlayStation 1

KENOSHA, WI—Having refused to purchase the video game console since its introduction in 1994, local parents John and Melissa Gionda confirmed Thursday that they had finally caved in and bought a Sony PlayStation 1 for their 33-year-old son, Daniel.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

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Poll: Most In U.S. Believe JFK’s Death A Conspiracy

Fifty years after President John F. Kennedy’s assassination, a Gallup poll has found that 61 percent of Americans still believe JFK’s murder was a conspiracy and not carried out by Lee Harvey Oswald alone. What do you think?

  • “It’s just more fun this way, you see!”

    Cassandra Lazzara
    Food Chemist
  • “These people need to let go of their obsession with this idea that JFK was ever alive at all.”

    Phil Wilbanks
    Movie Critic
  • “Hmm, seems like Gallup’s asking a lot of questions.”

    Ted Denlinger
    Plaque Maker
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