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Pollution Could Pose Greater Risk For Obesity

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Pollution Could Pose Greater Risk For Obesity

A Beijing study found that the effects of heavily polluted air on the city’s rat population included greater risk for diabetes and obesity, suggesting humans are similarly affected by pollution. What do you think?

  • “Looks like the science is really stacking up in favor of breathable air.”

    George Knight Boxing Historiographer
  • “It’s downright shameful that we’re only concerned about rat health for purely selfish reasons.”

    Nicole Pittman Skirt Hemmer
  • “My own rat experiments have produced similar results.”

    Thad Davidoff Beard Sculptor

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