adBlockCheck

Recent News

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
End Of Section
  • More News

Poor Diet May Cause Alzheimer’s

A growing body of research suggests that an unhealthy diet reduces the natural level of insulin in the brain, which, in turn, may cause the neurodegenerative disease Alzheimer’s, prompting some doctors to begin referring to the condition as “type 3 diabetes.” What do you think?

  • “Permanently forgetting your problems through binge eating? I can’t imagine a more desirable process.”

    Fred Tager Carpet Salesman
  • “That makes sense. I’ve eaten four packages of hot dogs this week, and I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

    Liz Martorano Gluing Machine Adjuster
  • “Let the search for type 4 diabetes commence!”

    Clement Valcarce Duck Farmer
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close