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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Pope Benedict Says God Told Him To Resign

Speaking publicly for the first time since he stepped down, 86-year-old pope emeritus Benedict XVI claimed that his surprise resignation in February was due to a months-long “mystical experience” during which “God told [him]” to retire. What do you think?

  • “Then why didn’t God just kill him?”

    Frederic Brochu Weld Inspector
  • “Yeah, God tells me to give up all the time.”

    William Savitt Unemployed
  • “There is no God.”

    Lynn Takama Slurry Blender
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