adBlockCheck

Pope Benedict XVI To Resign

Top Headlines

Recent News

How Fashion Trends Arise

With the growing popularity of “fast fashion,” or designs that move quickly from the runway to retail chains, many wonder how their favorite styles first arise. The Onion breaks down the process step by step

SpaceX’s Plan To Colonize Mars

SpaceX founder Elon Musk continues to lay the groundwork to attempt the human colonization of Mars. Here’s a step-by-step guide to his plan:

Bill Clinton Resting Up To Sit Upright At Next Debate

CHAPPAQUA, NY—Stating that the former commander-in-chief had his sights squarely set on next Sunday, spokespeople for the Hillary for America campaign informed reporters Wednesday that Bill Clinton is currently resting up in preparation for another evening of sitting upright at the next presidential debate.

Cyclist Clearly Loves Signaling Turns

MILWAUKEE—Judging by the firm outward thrust of the woman’s arm and the length of times she held the gestures, witnesses confirmed Wednesday that a local bicycle rider clearly loves signaling turns.

Fact-Checking The First Presidential Debate

Addressing issues ranging from national security to trade to their personal controversies, Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton and Republican nominee Donald Trump squared off in the first presidential debate Monday. The Onion takes a look at the validity of their bolder claims:
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Pope Benedict XVI To Resign

Citing his advanced age and declining health, 85-year-old Pope Benedict XVI announced today that he will step down from the papacy on the last day of February, marking the first time since 1415 that a pope has resigned from the job. What do you think?

  • “Benedict has made a mockery of our proud tradition of watching popes slowly shrivel away and descend into senility!”

    Thomas Corbin Systems Analyst
  • “Will he be going back to his old name now? I need to know how to address this card.”

    Mark Ebersole Wheat Cleaner
  • “I hope they pick someone cool to replace him. That guy’s a square.”

    Prudence Bannen Master Electrician

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close