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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
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Pope Delivers Yankee Mass

Pope Benedict XVI concluded his trip to the United States by celebrating Sunday Mass at New York's Yankee Stadium. What do you think?
  • "I thought his homily delivery got a little erratic late. Girardi should have yanked him during the liturgy of the Eucharist."

    Carl Hamper Lighting Designer
  • "See? I thought that was a particularly slow, rigid, unbending game."

    Beth Aiken Industrial Electrician
  • "I was there and it was historic and everything, but come on, $7.50 for a puny wafer and 11 bucks for a sip of wine? I could've stayed home and watched the Holy Communion on TV for free."

    Ben Carroll Window Decorator

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