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Pope Denounces Celibacy-Protesting Priests

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Pope Denounces Celibacy-Protesting Priests

Pope Benedict XVI spoke out against a group of priests that has called for ordaining women and ending celibacy for the clergy. What do you think?

  • "I agree with him. A church that isn't archaic, discriminatory, and inflexible just isn't Catholic."

    Kevin Hopper
    Systems Analyst
  • "Kind of a weird thing to bring up around Easter, but okay."

    Victoria La Marr
    Unemployed
  • "I think it'd be a nice change of pace to have some female priests. No offense to the male priests, but they can't cook for shit."

    Chet Bartel
    Mender

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