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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Pope Francis Says He Would Baptize Martians

While delivering a homily earlier this week in which he sought to emphasize the point that everyone has the right to receive the Holy Spirit, Pope Francis said that he would happily baptize Martians if they arrived at the Vatican and asked. What do you think?

  • “Not surprised, considering he canonized St. Worf earlier this month.”

    Reggie Steele Boardwalk Patroller
  • “As someone who hates God, I don’t appreciate how fun this pope is. My day has been ruined once again!”

    Katherine Paul Campground Manager
  • “So this is a big step for the Catholic Church, right?”

    Timothy Myles Unemployed

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