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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Pope To Reduce His Twitter Followers’ Time In Purgatory

The Vatican will offer indulgences to believers who follow Pope Francis’ Twitter account, @pontifex, during next week’s World Youth Day, thereby reducing the amount of time these individuals’ souls spend in purgatory and allowing them to enter heaven faster. What do you think?

  • “Boy, you can get some great deals on Twitter.”

    Sara Hanable Operations Manager
  • “That’s a relief. I have a big week of sinning planned.”

    Ron Castro Circuit Breaker Assembler
  • “Has anyone ever considered staging a doctrinal protest against such notions?”

    Roger Farmer Harpist

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