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Police Find Super-Sharp Buck Knife

'It's The Kind With A Blade That Locks In Place,' Says Law Enforcement Spokesperson

Warning residents that the blade was “super deadly” and “badass,” city police officials held a press conference Wednesday to announce that they had found a really cool wooden-handled Buck-brand pocketknife on the street.

Kids Excited Mom Learning To Swear

PESHTIGO, WI—After a lifetime of assiduously avoiding the use of foul language, Helen Chernak, 59, is finally learning to swear, her delighted offspring reported Monday.

Parents Of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good

WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.

A Look At The Class Of 2020

This year’s incoming college freshmen will comprise the graduating class of 2020, with the majority of them born in 1998. Here are some facts and figures about these students and their worldview:

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run
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Porn Viewed By Young

A study published by the journal Pediatrics says that nearly half of Internet-using children, ages 10 to 17, have seen pornographic images. What do you think?

  • "It's disturbing to realize that over half of children 10 to 17 are liars."

    Dennis Goodwiler Court Stenographer
  • "I'm not worried about it happening in my house. I had my kids install blocking software."

    Tina Dobbs Systems Analyst
  • "That's very disturbing. It really makes me think about who might be on the other side of the webcam when I'm stripping."

    Noel Sinese Model

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