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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Portable Video Devices

Portable DVD players and multiple-function devices such as Sony's PSP and Nokia's N-Gage are making it possible to watch pre-recorded video anywhere. What do you think?
  • "Just what I need: a way to take my living room with me on the few occasions that I actually leave it."

    Gene Busby Scrap Dealer
  • "At last, Americans can watch TV all day long and still maintain the active and outdoorsy lifestyle they've always theoretically wanted!"

    Hannah Bell Systems Analyst
  • "Now I finally have something to do on the long walk from my parking space to the theater."

    Clay Mannfield Vintner

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