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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Possible Ninth Planet Found In Solar System

Astronomers at Caltech have discovered compelling evidence that a massive ninth planet exists far past Neptune, with an orbit around the sun that takes over 10,000 years to complete. What do you think?

  • “I’m not going to lie to you. I’ve known about this planet for quite some time.”

    Sandy Binns Glass Filler
  • “I’ll take any opportunity to burn some textbooks!”

    Jared Hoyne Microchip Dealer
  • “How many Styrofoam balls do you people think I can afford?”

    Dwight Lindgren Fossil Auditor
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