Post Office Nearly Bankrupt

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Horrifying Police Body Camera Footage Clearly Shows Current State Of America

CINCINNATI—Following a traffic stop earlier this month by a University of Cincinnati police officer that ended in the shooting death of an unarmed black motorist, authorities confirmed Thursday that the disturbing video recorded by the officer’s body camera clearly and graphically shows the current state of America.

Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.
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Post Office Nearly Bankrupt

With the U.S. Postal Service in danger of defaulting on a $5.5 billion payment due this month, a bailout will be necessary to ensure the mail is delivered. What do you think?

  • "Listen, I have some thank-you notes I've been putting off. I'm not saying it's gonna solve everything, but I am saying I'm willing to do what I can."

    Tina Farisi
    Systems Analyst
  • "I guess I'd be okay with UPS delivering my mail. Of course, I'd have to take off time from work to be home to sign for it."

    Rich de Souza
    Cable Supervisor
  • "They'd better solve this quick—October is gourmet-popcorn-catalog season!"

    Corey Brooke
    Tone Regulator