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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Post Office Nearly Bankrupt

With the U.S. Postal Service in danger of defaulting on a $5.5 billion payment due this month, a bailout will be necessary to ensure the mail is delivered. What do you think?

  • "Listen, I have some thank-you notes I've been putting off. I'm not saying it's gonna solve everything, but I am saying I'm willing to do what I can."

    Tina Farisi Systems Analyst
  • "I guess I'd be okay with UPS delivering my mail. Of course, I'd have to take off time from work to be home to sign for it."

    Rich de Souza Cable Supervisor
  • "They'd better solve this quick—October is gourmet-popcorn-catalog season!"

    Corey Brooke Tone Regulator
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