Postal Rate Increase Denied

Top Headlines

Recent News

‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Preparedness

  • Doctors Recommend Getting 8 Centuries Of Cryosleep

    STANFORD, CA—Claiming that the practice is essential for effectively recharging the body and waking fully rested and alert, doctors at Stanford University issued a report Monday emphasizing the importance of getting at least eight centuries of atomi...

Business

Coworkers Pull Off Daring One-Hour Lunch Break

TUCSON, AZ—Saying they couldn’t believe such a wild exploit had even been attempted, employees at local marketing firm Synergy Media Services told reporters they were still completely dumbfounded Thursday after account manager Tim Gibbons managed to pull off a daring one-hour lunch break.

Postal Rate Increase Denied

Postal regulators have rejected a proposal to increase stamp prices faster than the rate of inflation, blaming a flawed business model for the Post Office’s financial troubles. What do you think?

  • "They do have a terrible business model. They should go into landscaping instead."

    Lucy Armstead
    Prison Guard
  • "Raising the price of stamps? Not again! Lousy government! Wait, postal regulators stopped the price increase? Damn bureaucrats! Lousy government!"

    Alex Wash
    Systems Analyst
  • "I don't know where I could have found that extra 6 cents a year I might have spent mailing letters. Oh, here's some change on the ground. A QUARTER! WOW!"

    Kevin Rhodes
    Unemployed
Next Story