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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Postal Rates Increase

The price of a stamp went up to 41 cents yesterday. What do you think?
  • "Damn it, what did they do with the 68 cents I gave them for postage last year?"

    David Bachman Carpenter
  • "I'll just have to be that much more selective this year about who receives my annual Christmas newsletter."

    Carla Weisser DVD Rental Clerk
  • "Between the postage increase and the high price of whale oil, it's getting harder and harder to live in the year 1893."

    Alec Pufall Congressional Page
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