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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Postal Rates Increase

The price of a stamp went up to 41 cents yesterday. What do you think?
  • "Damn it, what did they do with the 68 cents I gave them for postage last year?"

    David Bachman Carpenter
  • "I'll just have to be that much more selective this year about who receives my annual Christmas newsletter."

    Carla Weisser DVD Rental Clerk
  • "Between the postage increase and the high price of whale oil, it's getting harder and harder to live in the year 1893."

    Alec Pufall Congressional Page

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